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Blow jobs, doggy style, missionary, licking; the question has been asked whether there is a Godly sex position? Some Godly people have the opinion that missionary style where the man is on top and the woman on her back is the only Godly sexual activity. Here are a few truths.

• SEX IS GOD’S GIFT FOR MARRIAGE
  Sex is God’s idea given not just for procreation but for intimacy, pleasure and the strengthening of the bond between husband and wife. Sex has been given such a bad and evil name that even some Godly people still consider it evil or a taboo

• NO BODY IS THE SAME
  God deliberately created every person’s body unique. Sex is not a copy paste thing where you expect every body to be the same. Every one has their own unique erogenous spots. For example, some women get turned on by kisses on the neck and ears, others don’t. Some men have sexually sensitive nipples others don’t. Other men have sexually sensitive balls that love to be touched, others don’t

• DIFFERENT PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENTLY ABLED
  God gave different bodies different abilities. Some ladies have big a clitoris, others have flexible bodies. Some men have a big penis, others small ones, others medium ones. Some men have a bending penis, others straight. Each person is unique. With this uniqueness comes different ways of experiencing pleasure

• THE MYSTERY OF THE CLITORIS
  The clitoris is a God given organ for nothing else but sexual pleasure. Some men give their wives sexual pleasure through rubbing her clitoris using their erect penis or their fingers. Some use their tongue. A hardened penis comes with lubrication of the pre cum, but if he uses his fingers, he must lubricate it with his saliva or her own wetness lest she will feel pain on her clitoris. This is why some men use their tongue which comes already lubricated with saliva. If as a man you don’t use your tongue, don’t demonise those who do. The goal is to give your own wife pleasure. Each marriage is unique

• SEX IS CUSTOM MADE
  As earlier stated, each marriage is unique. Focus on your marriage and custom make it to both your preferences, pleasure, comfort and ability

• LOVE MAKING IS ABOUT KNOWING
  “And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord.” Genesis 4:1
  Know your spouse’s body, don’t approach your spouse with preconceived notions. Study your spouse’s body’s response to your touch and sexual acts

• KNOW THAT LOVE MAKING IS ALL ABOUT THE SENSE OF TOUCH
  Kissing, rubbing, licking, sucking; all this is about the sense of touch on skin. The act of penetration in itself is all about the penis rubbing on the sensitive walls inside the vagina. The fingers, tongue and penis all give different types of sensations that are God given. Study what pressure to use and how fast or slow to give those sensory pleasures on different parts of your spouse’s body. Even kissing is all about the sensations of the skin of your lips meeting. Find out how your spouse loves the sensations

• YOUR BODY BELONGS TO YOUR SPOUSE
  “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:4
  This is why it is your responsibility to give your spouse pleasure as he/she likes it in the confines of love. Don’t sexually frustrate your spouse yet you have his/her body

• IN MARRIAGE IT IS NOT ABOUT LUST BUT LOVE
  “Do everything in love.” 1 Corinthians 16: 14. Whatever you do should be all about love. Lust is selfish, love is about seeking to please your spouse. Don’t make your marriage all about sex

• SEX IN MARRIAGE IS ABOUT AGREEING
  Whatever sexual act you do together, let it be in mutual agreement. Don’t force your spouse to do something he/she is uncomfortable with or his/her conscience doesn’t agree with

• CHECK YOUR VIEW ON SEX
  Always check if you have a healthy sex view. Do you have an honourable view of sex or were you preached to that sex is evil before you got married that even in marriage you still think sex is evil and are rigid? Is your negative view on sex brought by some mistakes you made before marriage such as abortion or fornication? It is not a sin to enjoy sexual pleasure to the highest and as often as possible in marriage

• FORGET ABOUT THE NAMES
  The names given to sex styles has made some Godly people see them as evil, names such as doggy style, 69, spooning, wheelbarrow … Stop focussing on the names, just do things that give you both pleasure. You can even give the positions your own unique names. You are allowed to be naughty and creative with each other

• CREATE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE
  Since you have different abilities, you can create your own sex positions that no one has ever even tried. You can have sex in other places, not just on your bed. You have been commanded to enjoy the wife of your youth. Each sexual experience doesn’t have to be the same. Being Godly doesn’t mean monotony, even God is creative

• WORK WITH YOUR SPOUSE’S EXPERIENCE
  If your spouse was sexually active before you, he/she has already become aware of the sexual pleasure he/she enjoys. Perhaps your wife realized in the past that she likes being the one riding on top, or your husband in the past realized that he likes his balls played with. Don’t be an insecure spouse, use that information to your advantage. Ask your spouse “How do you like it?” and do it for her/him

• THE KEY IS FAITHFULNESS
  You are permitted to enjoy each other as you wish, as long as faithfulness is observed. Your bedroom can keep your kinky and naughty secrets

• FOREPLAY IS NECESSARY
  Foreplay is the adequate preparation of your spouse for maximum satisfaction during penetration. Find ways you both enjoy to make her sufficiently wet and for him sufficiently hard

• SEEK HELP
  Some wives don’t get sufficiently wet, no problem. Use lubrication so that she doesn’t hurt. Learn about tricks to help the husband keep an erection longer, how to understand each other better sexually, how to maintain a good scent in your vagina, how to tighten your muscles. Don’t sexually suffer just because sex is a taboo to you. Sex is not a taboo to God when it comes to marriage

• SEX HAS A SHELF LIFE
  The gift of sex has an expiry date. You don’t have forever to enjoy the sensations of touch and sex. Don’t let it be that you are married but you don’t enjoy sex, one day your sexual organs will stop functioning. Make memories when you still can

• DON’T IMPOSE ON OTHERS
  Some people say they can never use their mouth on their spouse’s sexual organs because their mouth is only for eating and singing to God. Others believe that giving their spouse sexual pleasure using any creative way they choose is permitted in the name of faithfulness and that it is all part of giving God glory and celebrating their love. Whichever part of the two categories you belong to, what you do on your marital bed is private and between you two as a couple, don’t impose your preference or judge other couples for what they do in their private marital bed.

Romans 14: 1-14 says,

“Accept the one whose faith is weak, without QUARRELING over DISPUTABLE matters. One person’s faith ALLOWS them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must NOT JUDGE the one who does, for God has ACCEPTED THEM. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their OWN MIND. Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord.

So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living.

You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister ? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:

“ ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will acknowledge God.’ ”
So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

Therefore let us stop PASSING JUDGMENT on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that NOTHING IS UNCLEAN IN ITSELF. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for THAT PERSON it is unclean.

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde