By: Tophic Sienu Kadir
This is for our single Sisters but brothers can learn to emulate these qualities for Allah sake.
Every Muslim woman who seeks marriage in Islam should be aware that you are seeking a person not only to be a husband, friend, lover, partner, and all those good things; but you are seeking someone to be the imam(leader) of your home and family for Allah sake.
Yes, you want him to be a kind, generous, patient, good natured, healthy, attractive (to you), and Allah –fearing husband. Nevertheless, as a woman, you need to be clear about what you really want and seek in a marriage.
Many sisters say they want one thing but when they get it, it turns out that it’s not what they really wanted. Don’t say you want Allah-fearing, pious man, and then oppose him when he wants to direct you and your kids to piety.
If a woman wants a man who has these good qualities then she should seek that type of man, and not be overtaken by his looks, his car, his walk or his talk.
If a woman seeks a husband who does not have the qualities of a good man, then she will get a joker. The first thing to check about a potential spouse is his eemaan, and if you check his eemaan, make sure that you check yours too. You are looking for a man who will aid you to paradise, this earth sustenance is only a bonus.
If you are a Muslim woman who does not particularly want to be married to a religious man, or a man who prays, or enjoins you to pray, pay zakaat, fasts and enjoins you to fast, and observes a healthy Islamic lifestyle etc, then that is your choice.
This is not about blaming this or that person for how they want to live and what they consider important.
Nevertheless, keep it real sisters, if you are not really trying to live the Islamic lifestyle as a wife and a woman, then don’t waste the time of a brother who is serious about this affair of ours as Muslims, and you need to be clear with yourself about that.
Likewise, if you as a Muslim woman know that you want to live a serious and sober Islamic lifestyle, and raise your children accordingly, then don’t be beguiled by a brother who is handsome, talks good, drives a nice car, wears designer clothes, but lacks the substance that you are seeking.
With that in mind, dont miss my afternoon and evening reminders today for some things that you should look for in a real Muslim man. We ask Allah to guide our sisters in making the right choices. Aameen.